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Stepping Out of the Boat Part 2 -- Hear and Obey

As I think about where God is leading me in this transitional season, two insights have been wildly impactful. One, I read in My Utmost for His Highest August 3rd devotional: The Compelling Purpose of God, Oswald says, “We are taken into God’s purpose with no awareness of it at all. We have no idea what God’s goals may be, as we continue, His purpose becomes even more and more vague. God’s aim appears to have missed the mark, because we are too nearsighted to see the target at which He is aiming…” I experience this, God doesn’t typically reveal His purpose in full – He asks me to step out with Him in faith. The Second insight is that I can’t always explain what He’s up to. He’s so creative and brilliant. Words can’t contain His magnificence most times.

Regarding my status serving with Barn45 and the global bible study, it is very similar to the time He called me out of serving as an elementary principal. I knew it was time and He knew I wasn’t brave enough to step away from my dream job and what I thought was my purpose – the reason I was born. It seemed God used situations to compel me to leave, allowing space for what was next. I finally resigned, leaving my beloved school community of children, families and staff. It broke my heart. It happened fast with very little-to-no closure. I wept throughout the summer until I released it and looked ahead to where God was leading me.

Once that space was created…UGH, I really didn’t like that space. It was too slow paced, quiet and seemingly useless. It honestly seemed like a waste of what I had to offer. Anyway, once that space was created, I couldn’t believe how our faithful and all-knowing God was to my family, to me, and to those who needed what else I had to offer. I had to parent on a whole new level – it became a matter of life or death. Then a while later, there was a comeUNITY that was waiting to hear the voice of God in a fresh, new way. When God says He goes before us and it’s all for good – He really does, and it always is! Not to mention the work He did in me. I experienced new breakthroughs and healing I wouldn’t have had while I was working as an administrator.

Now, it’s happening all over again with my partnership with Barn45. He not only called me to focus on my family for a time such as this, but He’s preparing me for what is next. It, too, happened suddenly with no real closure. In August, I felt all the emotions that associated with what my family was going through as well as when I realized that I would no longer be serving at Barn45. I felt sadness, pain, worry, anger, frustration, fear as well as loneliness. Just like in June when my family needed my focus, I walked through the deep dark spaces and allowed myself to feel all the feels all the while keeping my eyes on Jesus. For those who still think that there is no God or that He’s not alive and active – I beg to differ. I continue to see proof. I found the way, the truth, and light.

As far as my health is concerned, I’m doing better. Getting diagnosed with a neurological disease was scary, but also motivated me to upgrade my life. What seemed to help most was a new nutrition plan, but I’m sure there were other factors that has contributed. I’m counting it all as beneficial and maintaining a lifestyle that keeps me out of bed and alert as possible. My family is doing well. My boys are brave and not giving up. We are taking one day at a time with no expectation for how things are supposed be; instead, a great expectancy for God to show up in a very real and personal way – as He always does.

God is always calling us to be more Christ-like. We should expect continuous breakthroughs and healing rather than reliant on great work from the past. As we live abundantly and head into new times and territory, we die of self by shedding layers that don’t serve us well. It’s not an easy life – which we are not promised – but it’s worth the reward of everlasting life. I sometimes wonder (and argue with God) how to keep such a pace.

Follow peace.

When I follow peace (which may not be what I desire) I find Jesus. Then I know I’m on the right track. Doesn’t mean there won’t be trials or tribulation; it just means that I can also walk with the Prince of Peace throughout. Reminds me of the early disciples who didn’t teach or serve in one spot. So, like them, I pray that I can stay in touch in some way with my past relationships as God is leading me on to new endeavors.

This is an exciting time for all of us. As I’m typing this, God just brought to mind, Mark 1:15 “The time has come, the Kingdom of God is near. Repent (change of heart/mind) and believe the good news!” Let’s keep our eyes on Jesus and not allow our natural selves to figure out God’s plan. Our view is too limited. God’s hand is on our lives so that means there is only good planned for Barn45 and the Lees, as well as for my family and what He’s calling me/us into next.

It was an honor to be asked by Joy to serve along with her at Barn45 and to be asked by God to start a daily bible study. I had a desire to keep serving at that capacity, but I dare not! Not when I know, like I know, like I know, that God has something new for me. We serve a mighty God – not man. (Hard for me to write that.)

So, Let’s Goooo! Let’s all boldly follow the Prince of Peace and not the prince of this world who tempts us to follow the patterns of his world.

I would love to hear from you, please leave an answer in the comments.

  1. Has God nudged you to stop doing something without revealing next steps?

  2. How have tough situations helped you to shed layers - become less of your natural self and more Christ-like?

  3. I mentioned that I walked through the trials with Jesus. The emphasis is on moving forward even if it's little by little. Have you been able to struggle without getting stuck?

Feel free to reach out if you need a loving, safe place to process this more.

With great love and compassion,

Tara Ouellette


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